My wife accuses me of being middle aged !

My wife, God bless her, is one of those people who are perennially upbeat and positive while I am, lets just say a little more realistic. Its not that I see the glass half full, hell sometimes I do not even see the glass at all. We have a setback or a piece of bad luck and she says " something good will come from this ", while I say, well I do not want to repeat most of what I say at times like these, just assume its not what you would want the kids to hear.

I find myself aggravated at her optimisim most times, other times I find myself jealous of it. How does one stay upbeat when life is dealing you cards from the back of the deck? God forbid I would ever have anything serious like a real tragedy befall me, I would probably lose it, okay I would definetly lose it, I lose it over minor setbacks all the time. They say opposites attract, I guess its true, at least it is in our case.

You may wonder why I would get so upset when she is putting a positive spin on whatever setback we are dealing with at the moment? I guess the old saying " misery loves company " may be the answer. Sometimes you just want to set back and be miserable, blame everyone, blame no one, just be forlorn and relish in your own wretchedness, curl up in a ball and rock back and forth and wonder what you did to deserve this doleful state you have been thrust into. Yea, thats the ticket. Then I look over and there is ole happy face with her positive attitude telling me that it will be alright, sheesh, can't she just suffer with me like a normal person?

She makes it hard to enjoy a despicable situation properly, abandon hope all ye who enter here, my motto at times like these. Its people like my wife that inspired things like the Care Bears, all that wishy washy happiness and hearts and flowers. Makes me want to puke, maybe even do the projectile vomit thing and aim it at her, of course she would just take this a sign that good times were on the horizon.

The thing about being in a state of misery is that when you finally arrive at the other side, when goodness and plenty has returned and the sun is shining and your belly is full and the wallet actually contains some money that is not already spent is that is when you get to really enjoy it. Of course you have to keep in mind that abject sorrow may be just around the corner, but, I can feel better knowing that although she is still happy and upbeat she is not enjoying it as much as I am, I have the benefit of the contrast between good and desperation, while she is seems to be stuck with permanent euphoria, some people just do not know what they are missing.

Just the other day she was saying we should start taking care of ourselves better as we are middle aged, I am fifty years old while she is seven years younger than me, I explained to her that for me to be middle aged would require me to live to be one hundred years old, thats way to long, think of all the bad that could happen during another fifty years !

ed

Hey welcome to my blog, or not.

Touched in the head, this a term my grandparents used to describe someone not quite up to par mentally. The first time I heard it used was when I was riding with my grandmother to the five and dime store, what you never heard of a five and dime store you young punk, go ask someone with a little more life experience to explain it to you. Anyway, as we were on our way this guy stepped off the curb causing granny to slam on the brakes almost hitting him, he looked at us and waived his hands over his head, much like an orangutan I seen years later on some kids show my children were watching, he then started to cry and seconds later he looked as if he forgot what he was crying about and stepped back on the curb. I asked, granny what was the deal with him, she answered " son he is a bit touched in the head " Naturally this seemed like the perfect title for someone who decided to post words to a blog, especially someone who has nothing really important to say.

Naturally I just silently absorbed this as if I understood what it meant and later that evening I asked my mother what this cryptic term meant and she explained to me it was a polite way of describing someone who was slow or odd. She added that people who are not normal to society are those who are left out of life by the deficits they endure and these are the people that God love the most, therefore they are Touched, as if by God, in the head. This seems to me to describe the average blogger!

Take me for example, I am writing this stuff down not knowing if anyone will actually see it, or even if my writing will engage the interest of anyone who happens across this long enough to even read it, yet here I sit typing away with my typing finger, its too much to ask me to actually learn to type, you can't teach an old dog new tricks, and its even tougher to teach an old fat guy who is touched in the head a new trick so I rely on the one finger method of communication.

My advice to any soul who happens upon my newly created blog? If you want profound insights and truths, seek God. If you want entertainment you may be out of luck, if you want to waste a few minutes of your time you may just find something to laugh with me about, or even more likely you may find something to laugh at me about. I may even remind you of something long forgotten, like say Ben Franklins , Kresge's, or Woolworths and Murphys these stores were described as  five and dime stores, later the term developed into dimestore, damned inflation.


ed